Feeling happy, 10 key questions and 3 tips

Happy through positive memories

A 2019 study published in the scientific journal Nature Human Behaviour found that people who recall positive memories become happier than those who recall negative memories. And to be able to look at yourself in a positive way, it helps to reflect on this from time to time. How do you view yourself and the world around you?

Increase self-insight

Greater self-knowledge also enables you to take better care of yourself. In fact, this leads to personal leadership. And when you can act from personal leadership you feel stronger, freer and more in touch with choosing your own happiness.

Ask yourself these questions:

1. Do you often experience the heavy burden of responsibility for everything and everyone around you?
2. Do you regularly reserve a moment to give yourself appreciation, to reward yourself with a compliment?
3. Can you give yourself permission to make mistakes, and see this as growth?
4. Do you carry the opinions of others like a burden on your shoulders?
5. Are you someone who consistently approaches life from an optimistic perspective?
6. Do you catch yourself often getting caught up in thoughts of "musts" and "obligations"?
7. Do you consider obstacles mostly a challenge or a problem?
8. Do you find that you are adept at placing situations in a broader perspective?
9. Are you quick to question the intentions and actions of others?
10. Are you good at accepting things when things turn out differently than you had hoped?

The answers to these questions provide a clear view of the balance in your life and your mental resilience. In other words, your ability to take good care of yourself from your inner strength. If you discover that some answers challenge or distress you, it is an unmistakable sign that these specific aspects need attention.

Allow yourself time to reflect on the following questions for feeling happy:

1. What are the concrete steps you can take to change these aspects of yourself?
2. How long have you been aware of these patterns, and how have they affected your well-being?
3. Are you currently experiencing hindrance from these patterns in your life?
4. What might happen if you decide not to take action to address them?
5. What inner threshold do you have to cross before you decide to change your behavior and beliefs?

Remember, happiness—and unhappiness—is about how you feel, not who you are. You are not intrinsically "happy," but you have the power to cultivate and embrace your own happiness. — Ellen Rentenaar, Sustainable Employability Advisor and Coach at Simple Check, among others.

Check out our other blog on happiness: Happiness what does it get you?

Positive thinking: a trait that comes in handy for feeling happy!

Being inclined to see the glass half full instead of half empty generally makes life lighter and easier. There are some people who find this naturally easy, but there are also those who have a little more difficulty with it. In this blog you will read how you can learn to think more positively.

Why think positively?
Try to figure out for yourself what you think about when you lie in bed at night and reflect on your day. Do you mainly think about the things you didn't do well? Appointments you didn't keep? Or a collaboration that didn't go well?

Or do you just end the day with thoughts of the walk you took during the break? The sun that finally showed itself again? Or the nice message you received from a friend or family member? You can probably imagine that the former thoughts evoke a less positive feeling than the subsequent ones.

The way you look at things and the thoughts you have about them largely determine how you feel about them. And what you give your attention to grows. So when you have more positive thoughts, your mood will naturally be more positive too. And remember that positivity attracts positivity. The more positive your outlook on life, the more positive your experience of life will be!

3 Tips for learning to think positively

• Writedown what you are grateful for every day: by doing this every day, you train your brain to have a positive focus. It will also teach you to concentrate on the things that are really important in life. You may find it difficult to come up with things at first, but you will notice that it becomes easier the longer you do it. It certainly doesn't have to be big things. Finding gratitude in the little things will actually make you more positive in life.
• Recognizenegative thoughts and try to turn them into something positive: try to figure out for yourself where your pitfalls lie with regard to negative thoughts. For example, are you inclined to think negatively about yourself? Or do you have a tremendous fear of failure and are therefore convinced that you will never succeed at certain things? Or do you always see obstacles in everything and imagine all kinds of doom and gloom scenarios in your head? Try to recognize this in yourself and write it down. Look at these thoughts critically. Are they realistic? Or are they perhaps too black and white? And what positive (or less negative) thoughts could you counter them with? Insight is the first step towards change, and you gain this insight by working through these thoughts for yourself. You will find that the longer you do this, the easier it will become to recognize and correct negative thoughts. 
• Cherishyour successes! Many people tend to focus primarily on their goals and therefore on what they have not yet achieved. But try turning this around. What have you succeeded in? Paying attention to this will boost your self-confidence! 

What is important to realize is that trying to think positively does not mean that you have to try to change all negative thoughts and emotions. All emotions have a function and want to be felt. If you suppress your emotions, this can cause problems later on. So feel what needs to be felt, but without dwelling on it," says Ellen Rentenaar.

Discover our workshop ‘Increase your mental resilience’

Want to know more about increasing your mental resilience? Our Increasing Your Mental Resilience workshop is designed specifically for employers who want to invest in the well-being and productivity of their employees. In this interactive and inspiring workshop, employees will learn valuable techniques and strategies to build resilience and better cope with challenges and stress both in the workplace and at home. Are you interested? If so, feel free to contact us!